I'm having a lot of difficulty with concentration and focus. I'm falling victim to overweight and mental illness. I can't clean, I can't cook, I can't work...I'm pretty well useless. I could sleep and eat all day and be happy. I'm sure I'll make it to 250 soon...I can't seem to get to the gym or do anything. I just dunno...there's no reason. I just have no motivation. I should be kicking ass right now, but I want to go to bed and forget the world.
I'm letting my life get muddled again. What's strange is usually my moods are all in flux when this happens, but everything is fairly even. Although I find my temper is quick.
My students have been noticing that as well. Not cool.
The chinchillas are so silly. Today they were laying about all cuddled and we turned on Harry Potter. Baby George always perks up when the TV comes on. Well she liked Harry Potter it seems as she's not moved from in front of the TV all day. Whenever Mami gets in her way she fights with her until she moves. Silly Chillas.
I've not accomplished a single goal I set for myself a few months ago. Nothing. My house is still a mess, I still rarely work out, and I've eaten crap food more due to convenience. I just have no motivation at all. Must pull my head out of my ass. Can't afford to let this continue to leach into my professional life...I'm libel to be on the job market again if I'm not careful.
Mon, Oct. 11th, 2010, 12:07 pm
This last week I was convinced I was going to die. Allergies. It's been unbearable. I've taken everything I can think of and my eyes are still raw, I still can't breathe and I'm dizzy.
I worked 11 to 12 hour days all week leading to Friday. I had a training Thursday night then development all day Friday. I actually left the school at 4:30!! I was all in shock. I didn't know how to spend an early evening and since I was feeling crappy I just went to slept.
I think I'm wearing down. I worked at the park 7 hours Saturday and 9 hours yesterday. I'm off today. I have so much to get done. Laundry, cleaning, grading, cooking...I just can't get out of bed. I finished season 2 of castle, am watching season 5 of criminal minds and am contemplating just laying around all day. But the laundry pile is huge, and I'm out of clothes.
Fri, Sep. 17th, 2010, 09:27 pm
I forget how insane the school environment is...
It's four weeks into the semester. I now have four new students, and they switched the bulk of my students to 7th and 8th period which were already huge. UGH. 8th period already fries my brain. This is going to be awful.
Mon, Aug. 30th, 2010, 07:06 pm
That's what today was.
Kids were butt heads, didn't have their homework for their speeches today. So I SWAMP them. (which is a one hour academic D-hall) and over half my classes were in there. Sad. I felt like a moron. I have never had the air taken out of my sails so badly. Everything had really been wonderful and today I felt like I was doing everything wrong. I'm just really sad now.
I have a "classroom management" class on the 15th and 16th that is similar to ones I've taken before. So I get to miss two days with my kids, which I do not want (well maybe after today) and end up probably getting very little usefulness from the class. Joy.
Also have to come up with "exchange time" hours sometime before Friday so I can present my professional development plan to my principal.
THERE'S TOO MUCH TO WORRY ABOUT
Now that that's over with, I think I'll have some cookies.
Wed, Jun. 16th, 2010, 12:04 pm
Short and sweet
For the few people who still read this:
I GOT A JOB
I'm teaching Jr. High theatre and one speech class next year in Arlington. (which the school is actually closer to me than where I'd been teaching!)
@evilkitty: "Flashback Friday: Tracy Chapman ~ Fast Car" This song always gets me!
@evilkitty: "Sublime ~ Caress Me Down"
@LikeAnAngel: This is such a great song. <3 Poe
I'm obsessed with sexy music today